A lot has and has not changed in that time.
For one thing I had a document with about 40 more posts for here that has vanished like some of my hard drives.
Another is my mother has Alzheimer's and I have been taking care of her full time. Well part of it.
Still another thing is my father passed away about six months ago. I was looking after him (obviously not very well) too but he had multiple problems like mild senility, arthritis, a new knee, prostrate blockage, and carpal tunnel to name a few items.
This has left me not wanting to talk about this, my life, or anything else during most of that time. It literally can drive the stress to make you want to do stupid things. Isolation though I have found is not a real solution and sharing verbally at least can keep the noggin from burning out. Isolation just makes the shame of you having to do what you do more intense. But I digress.
So while I have been on the run from twitter, or facebook, or this blog (see title of post), I have been busy with the mundane.
I got a new ball cap to celebrate the Year Of The Monkey. I has a logo for this blog on the front and my name/twitter handle/Facebook id/email start on the back so people can identify me. It was an expensive splurge for me but I have found it is worth it. One Mum is less like to ask who does this hat belong to and dump it in a pile of dust. Two when people ask me for my name/twitter handle/Facebook id/email start I just show them the back of my hat. Really does save time. Plus it boosts my ego bragging my name that way. These are some of the biggest news for me just to emphasize how mundane life can be, really.
The basement has been cleaned out of most of Dad's and a lot of my stuff. It is best I don't dwell on that or I become morose and sullen possibly even reaching a depression spiral and it's useless feeling to have putting me on a hoarder mentality of emotional attachment to items. Treat it like a giant Mickey Mouse watch, ticking onward but knowing even his hands move onto the next number.
Last fall my brother Mark went to clean under and move my bed and in the process wrecked it. Technically it was his (long convoluted story) however I have been sleeping in it for the past 3 some decades I think of it as mine. Result was a new bed for me for my birthday last year. Yippee for me!
Mum latches on to the negative incidents in her life as if it's the only history. So the softer happier times fade for what occurs in the moment. Help her up off the floor after a chair breaks and she is okay then days later wonders what you did with her chair. Make her a great dinner or dessert and you get a brief accolade after the meal. Bring flowers or fun and that's nice. Do one bad thing in the past and it is the only history Mum has of you. Mum loves her kids but she has told everyone and I mean everyone from Doctors to Nurses to strangers in conversation at a day out how my brother Paul savagely beat her and called her names. The incident in question happened 2nd November 2016 when I turned the lights out in the basement on my brother's because they were not listening to what I had to say about some of the stuff they were dumping from the basement. So Paul, furious thought it was Mum who did it, raged across, slapped her ear while I stood by the door. Since then Mum has quieted and repeated the story hundreds of times to the point I had to explain to one nursing authority the law did not need to be called. Mum does the same thing when she recalls Aunt Marilyn (Dad's sister), talking about how she (Aunt Marilyn) had to be held captive to keep her from making a scene at Mum & Dad's wedding. It skips how Mum and Aunt Marilyn were chummy in the 1970's or how they have bonded at both my Dad's and my Uncle Douglas's (Dad's brother) funerals. I am not saying there isn't animosity in the past. Dad put most of that aside 3 years ago when he made peace with his sister and said hello to his baby brother after 17 years apart. You would think things could get along peacefully then you recall my saying Mum latches onto the negative as it happened yesterday. So part of what I do is remind of what are good feelings even when it can kill me.
So that paints the picture of part anxiety and stresses being dealt with. This is not the place to squabble about finances, maintenance, or putting my own life on hold. Occasionally things progress for little excursions and enjoyments. That why they are called occasions, We find them and enjoy them where we can. Have a good day and I will endeavor to stay more in touch than I have been with the world.
