Old time frustration

Well it's now Tuesday 14 April 2009 and a month since the incident with my brother Mark and his cell phone. I don't think I want to rehash it here except after a family gathering I took him out for a private fun and along the journey of the night he misplaced his cell and blamed me for it's lost.
It was eventually found and returned but not before he locked me out of my computer connections for a few days. Actually he let me on and when I was paying the Pizza delivery guy he went and changed them again. Hardy har har! He's my brother so I got to love him since he is family.
Which brings me to my latest bout of old time frustration. My father doesn't understand or work the internet. Whe he wants to send an e-mail he writes what he wants to send via e-mail and I interpret what he says to be sent out. I usually have to type up two to three drafts (sometimes more, once to eighteen drafts before we got the right idea out). Sometimes to get to the heart of the matter I result to inputting swearing but the result gets to a clearer message in editing.
Tonight the draft I received for a message (edited to protect the product) went like this:
"They do not work I had to refund them.
They say they have friends who have the newest model which they say is
working very very good.
As you know I have been out of money and time.
What can be done so we can get back on track."

The profanity laced version that got him to sit down and figure exactly what he wanted to say was this:
"Yo Bitch these fucking machines don't fucking work. What can you do to make them fucking work? Can we exchange them for machines that fucking do work?"

I had cut and paste that into his e-mail ready to send to this company that did good business a while back. Suffice it to say the end result passes all grammatical and spelling but will just frustrate when he gets his reply. His lack of communication skills cause him problems that get passed on to me if I don't communicate what he wants how he wants.
It gets worse when he has to reply and clarify. You see he doesn't read his e-mail at the terminal he has me print it out for him. All of it. I only recently got him to let me stop printing out the adverts. He even let me put one of his fellow scouters on ignore list because I was printing out all the e-mails and this one scout leader would send chain letters and lists of jokes that would go for pages. I would tell my father it was not my job to read his e-mail for content just to access it and print it out for him to read. If he didn't want to read about passing some picture of an angel would save a girl or grant a miracle it wasn't my problem. One day this scouter sent a one line reply to an email that my father had sent about camp choices and dates except he ahd quoted everyone who had replied to it in the previous week. I didn't check it before printing it.
Twenty-seven pages later I wish I had. So I can see some of his frustration when Dad gets his e-mail. The thing is there is no easy solution since he doesn't type and refuses. so he will continue to get frustrated trying to communicate via the internet and in return I will get frustrated with him trying to understand what he wants to say.
Mind you I have had my fun with this from time to time.
For example recently I wrote out this big document for him on what was need to prepare for camp and how to get there for the parents, leaders, and cubs. The catch was I played on subliminals and told him I had snuck in the words smurf sex into the text. He panicked and couldn't find it and was afraid he would get in trouble with scouting for putting such words in the document. The catch is if you look hard enough you can find almost anything in any document. Like ingrediants on a Pizza Pizza menu red onions, texas barbecque sauce, allows to spell sex.
Get it in a paragraph with goat cheese and tell someon there is goat sex on that page of the takeout menu and they will puzzle finding it but point it out and they will always find it.
So the trick is to make it perverted and diabolical when all it is is just letters on the page.
Still didn't stop me from having to shred 30 pages of maps with directions.
Just more old time frustration.